Friday, June 19, 2015

'Arry da 'Eadbanga's 'Eavy Orktillery

"Zo!  Da uvva day, Big Blackie, 'e comes up ta me un he sez, "Ey!  'Arry!!  We is plannin' an expa...We gonna get all da boys togevva an go fight Buzzgobb's Chaos boys come da fall!  We gonna smash em an pull der insides out an leave em laying in da dirt fer da buzzards!  We're gonna pull der 'eads orf and put em on dese long, tall spiky things what got long...uh...we're gonna...well anyway, we're gonna go fight em.  But you know dem Chaos boys got tough hides, lotta armor.  Gotta crack em open like ya crack open a  river clam, see?  Nar, not wiv your teef, ya turd...wiv a rock!  A big Rock!  You know wot I mean?  I need masheens, 'Arry!  Masheens like frow big rocks can smash dem Chaos boys apart!  Can yoo make us some masheens like dat?"
"Well, Boss, I sez, yoo come to da right place!  We'll getchoo some reel good masheens, don't yoo wurry!  Course, we can't make da big wonz like as he wont's, we only know hows ta make da little wonz like 'ol Yummskabb got. But I don't let Big Blackie know dat, nar!  I got got stuff nobody else knows about helps me git stuff done!  See few yeers back we caught us some Chaos Stunties!  Yeah!  S' true!  But don't tell nurbuddy, kay?  S' a seecrit!  Anyway, we caught dem Chaos dorfs an we got 'em in a hole we don't tell nobuddy about!  They got nuffin ta eat down dere but worms and stuff, so we tell em if dey help us build stuff, we give em a whole bunch a grub!  Works out nice.  Here's what I mean, see?"
 "See dat?  See 'dem nice clean lines?  See dat fancy metal work all over it?  Dat's Chaos Dorf stuff dat dey do on all der gear.  Now dat's...dat's a...a statement, see?  It states sumfin!  It states...We commin and we gonna smash yer fekkiin' 'eads in, yer basterds! Hawwrr Harrgh  Haww!   Big Blackie finks we built it, me and da boyz...Don' say nuffin, kay?"
"...Now 'ere's me own personal 'eadbanga.  See me dere in da back?  Handsome devvil uren't I?  Hawr Hahwwh!!!!  Dere's Uggbagg wif a big ol rock jus like Big Blackie asked for...yoo should see should see how far dey go!  Wuuuuuzzzzz....BASHHH!!!!  Right in your face!!!  HAWW HAWW HAWW! HAWW HAWW HAWW!  HAWW HA-Urk!  I wet 'em!  Oh, well!  Wouldn't be for the first time today!  Haw!"

"'Ere's a view uv me backside...gurls luv dis one...Hur! Oh, and da boyz an da bangas is in dere, too.  Finally got 'em all turned around da roight way!  So 'ere we go!  Can't wait ta see d looks on dem Chaos boys faces.  We gonna smash 'em up good and drive 'em right outta Lost Veguzz.  Just yoo wait and see!  'ERE WE GO!!!!!!!!"
"Aww.  I 'ate dis job.  I like stikkin folks wif knives, all up close an' cozy...not smashin' 'em wif rocks from 'alf a mile away..."
"Yoo 'ate dis job?  Yoo aint' da poor basturd gotta lift this bloody rock!  Lend a paw, awreddy!"

"Ey, look!  I got dis fing called a spyglass!  s' dead neat!  Makes everything look close up!  Sometimes its a little bit spooky, though, 'specially if yer lookin at a Jabberwock or sumfin'...brr!"

"Wot?  Why da hell are we gonna frow da rock dat way?  Da castle's back dat way, stupid!!  DAT WAY!!!"
Leader's meeting - a failed animosity check is mere seconds away...

So there is this month's addition to Big Blackie's Ork and Goblin horde.  Still have many, many Greenskins to paint between now and the end of Orktober but we'll get there!  Have an Orcy weekend!


  1. Love the characters you're coming up with and some of those pics made me inhale my morning cup of tea! The imminently failed animosity test tickled me in particular!

    Nice mix of crew too by the way.

  2. Love the Orc artillery so effective, so cheap so full of detail and character!

    1. Yeah! My Orc army has tons of artillery already. Can't wait to try it out on Buzzgobb's Chaos guys!

  3. Powerful looking artillery, Mouse! And I'm just seeing the new look on the site now - very nice! I like the back wallpaper a lot too. But hey, are you now Mr. Mouse? I've seen "Mr. Mouse" about and I wanted to tell you that someone has hijacked your name, but I guess it is really you, so, hello there, Mr. Mouse. Good to meet you.

    1. Hey, PW! Yeah, its me. I had to upgrade to Google Super Stupid Plus or whatever, and they insisted that I give them a first name on the account, so I'm just using Mr. 'til I get it straightened out. Cheers!