Saturday, June 27, 2015
Friday, June 19, 2015
"Zo! Da uvva day, Big Blackie, 'e comes up ta me un he sez, "Ey! 'Arry!! We is plannin' an ex...an exped...an expa...We gonna get all da boys togevva an go fight Buzzgobb's Chaos boys come da fall! We gonna smash em an pull der insides out an leave em laying in da dirt fer da buzzards! We're gonna pull der 'eads orf and put em on dese long, tall spiky things what got long...uh...we're gonna...well anyway, we're gonna go fight em. But you know dem Chaos boys got tough hides, lotta armor. Gotta crack em open like ya crack open a river clam, see? Nar, not wiv your teef, ya turd...wiv a rock! A big Rock! You know wot I mean? I need masheens, 'Arry! Masheens like frow big rocks can smash dem Chaos boys apart! Can yoo make us some masheens like dat?"
'ol Yummskabb got. But I don't let Big Blackie know dat, nar! I got resour...re...rezorz...I got stuff nobody else knows about helps me git stuff done! See few yeers back we caught us some Chaos Stunties! Yeah! S' true! But don't tell nurbuddy, kay? S' a seecrit! Anyway, we caught dem Chaos dorfs an we got 'em in a hole we don't tell nobuddy about! They got nuffin ta eat down dere but worms and stuff, so we tell em if dey help us build stuff, we give em a whole bunch a grub! Works out nice. Here's what I mean, see?"
|"Aww. I 'ate dis job. I like stikkin folks wif knives, all up close an' cozy...not smashin' 'em wif rocks from 'alf a mile away..." |
"Yoo 'ate dis job? Yoo aint' da poor basturd gotta lift this bloody rock! Lend a paw, awreddy!"
|"Ey, look! I got dis fing called a spyglass! s' dead neat! Makes everything look close up! Sometimes its a little bit spooky, though, 'specially if yer lookin at a Jabberwock or sumfin'...brr!"|
|"Wot? Why da hell are we gonna frow da rock dat way? Da castle's back dat way, stupid!! DAT WAY!!!"|
|Leader's meeting - a failed animosity check is mere seconds away...|
So there is this month's addition to Big Blackie's Ork and Goblin horde. Still have many, many Greenskins to paint between now and the end of Orktober but we'll get there! Have an Orcy weekend!
Wednesday, June 10, 2015
"The tale tells that one night while Snorri Skytoucher, famed scout of the Muster of the Upper Hall lay snoring in a drunken stupor, a sudden storm broke upon the slopes of the Thunder Mount. Skytoucher's wife, Gudrinn, unable to wake her husband, wrapped herself in a bearskin and went out into the squall in an attempt to gather the family's sheep ere they were all scattered before the storm and lost. In the gloom of darkening evening and onrushing storm, the Dwarf-wife thought she could see the sheep gathered together, a patch of white far down the slopes in the gathering gloom. She made her way toward the white patch, straining her eyes through the dark, and thought she could see it move, but the closer she drew to it, the further it seemed to move away, until she was quite far down the Mountain's side and very much alone in the dark. Still, she pressed on, deeper into the storm, until suddenly she found herself amidst a troop of Goblins who had come up the mountain to raid but had themselves been caught by the abrupt onset of the wind and snow......a few gentler versions of the tale say that Gudrinn's end was swift, but most agree that it was painful and lingering.'"
-Orlorrin, The Black River Chronicles
|"Arrr! Let's get ta killin'!"|