Stuff to Listen to While Painting: Star Wars Radio Drama Episode 1: A Wind To Shake The Stars

 I somehow managed to accidentally post an outline of an article I'm dreaming up, and for a while you were all seeing some meaningless scribbles under Tales From the Big Board in your blog lists.  To cover
up my goof, I've got to post something, so I'm sharing this. 

 It's the first episode of the Star Wars Radio Drama released by PBS a long time ago.  The Material is all story from Lucas' Star Wars novel, and embraces some scenes which were shot, but which were, sadly, deleted from the final cut of the film.

The whole radio play is over 6.5 hours long, and includes hours of newly written material, all of it approved by George Lucas, in addition to dramatizations of scenes which never made it into the theater.  Mark Hamill plays Luke, which is nice, but you get stand in voice actors for most of the other parts.  Too bad, but oh, well.  A detailed break-down of the radio play is available at the amazing Star Wars Wiki if you're interested in pursuing it further.

Great stuff to listen to while painting minis, hopefully, it'll get me inspired to get to work painting my stack of classic West End miniatures.  If you've never heard it, enjoy.

Grenadier Guards Again (Flames of War 300 point upgrade)

Nothing super exciting tonight.  Just been working on building up my Flames of War British Armoured Squadron...I've miraculously managed to stick to my plan of building up the army in 300 point blocks for exactly one block so far. 

With the new 300 points, I've just bought another platoon of 3 Tommy Cookers and a platoon of Bren Carriers, but I'm kinda pleased with how it all looks, so far. 

Old Stuff:  (585 points)
HQ Platoon:
2x Sherman V:  + AA MGs: 135 points


Combat Platoons:

1st Platoon: 
2x Sherman V & 1x Firefly VC + AA MGs:  225 points

2nd Platoon:
2x Sherman V & 1x Firefly VC: +AA MGs:  225 points

New Stuff: (310 points)

 3rd Platoon:
2x Sherman V & 1x Firefly VC: +AA MGs:  225 points

Slopped on more mud, this time...

Brigade Support Platoons:

Scout Platoon:
3x Universal Carrier: 70 points + 1 extra MG per: 85 points

Would have preferred Daimler of Humber armoured cars for my recon platoon, but the Carriers were pretty cheap compared to the armoured cars, and they've grown on me.  I actually like them quite a bit, now.

I might eventually recruit some Daimlers to act as recon for my tanks, and use the Carriers to support an independent rifle platoon.

So...Good fun, so far!  Next I'd like to go for some motorized infantry and self-propelled guns, but I'll probably just knock out the last platoon of Shermans, since I've already got them, or maybe add the rifle platoon and strengthen my command platoon with 2 extra Shermans...

So, there's 895 points.  Back to my German Grenadiers, who are taking a lot longer than I imagined they would...the infantry stands are proving pretty challenging...

...til next time!

Yumskab Hokkflem's Light Orktillery

"You wanna know me wot?  Me fil...filosso...me filossofee o' combat?  Wot dat is, ey?  How 'bout yoo talk plain instead of all like a faerie and wot?  You wot?  OH!!!!   I see!  Yeh!  Yoo wanna know what I fink's da best way to go 'bout smashin' fings an' killin' peeple!  Right.  Well.  My fil...oss...o...fee about dat is uh...well...yoo know.  I'd stab 'em wif big spears and hit 'em wif big rocks!!  Waahghhh!!!  Yeh!  Like dat, see??!!  Yeh.  Dat's da best way ta do it, I fink.

"Hrm?  Well, no, s'not fancy or nuffin', but den...doesn't haff ta bee, does it?  I mean, does da job, right?  An' anyway, sometimes yoo go to da uvver side o' da river, you're lookin' for a fight, ya know?  An' you're over dere, you know...and yoo come to a fort.  Dere's hoomies in dere, but dey don't wanna come out!  Dere scared, see?  Got no stomach for a scrap.  Well, wot yoo gonna do?  Yoo can't go in dere and bring 'em out wif yer teef...tho I know some lads dat've tried...Naw, dat's not da way ta do it...no, you gotta git a masheen ta do it, see?  Like dese here...

"Now dese'll make some nice holes in da humies' walls, or you can set stuff on fire and throw it over da wall, and maybe it'll hit somefin good and blow up...hur hur...dat's real fun.  And sometimes dey'll be up dere prancin' about on da wall wif a white rag sayin' sumfin' like "Oy we wants ta TREET wif yoos" or "We want ta disguss turms!"  Course we dunno what any o' dat meens so we just frow a big ol' rock up dere and knock 'em roight off da wall!  Haw Haw Haw!  Ah, dat's da best!!  Da boys laff til dey cry when dat 'appens!

"Hm?  Oh, yeah, dese are da smaller masheens we got.  We got uvver ones dat are loads bigga, We got da Rock Lobbas an da Skull Smashas and da Head Bangas an' wot...Waaaggghhh! You should see da humies' faces when dey see dose comin'!  Hee hee hee!  But yoo know...good fing 'bout dese liddle ones?  Dere easy ta git over da river...not like da Rock Lobba an da Head Banga...fer dem ya gots ta build a big ol boat, and sometimes da boat leens over in da wattah an da whole fing goes sideways-like into da rivver wif boys hangin' onta it and fallin' offin' it an' lads git drownded and here, ya put all dat wurk inta makin' yer masheen and it ends up at da bottom of da river and loads a yer boys end up sleepin' wit da fishes.  Hm? Oh, yeh, it's funny...sure, all us bosses git a good laff outa it, 's a bluddy riot, but it don't help ya beat da humies, dat's my point.  An dese little ones, ya don't need ta do all dat work, see?  Yoo can just put em on a little raft, an' s easy to get 'em to da uvver side and back again real quick.  S' easy!

"Anyway, I gotta git back ta showin' dese new lads how ta use dis rokk chukka.  If I don't, den da first foight we get in, dey'll frow a rock inta da middle a Big Blackie's chariot, an dat'll be da end o' me fer sure!  OY!!! What doo yoo lot fink you're doin' dere, eh?  Put him down!  Dat fing's fer chukkin' rocks, not gobbos!  Why, I'll...er...akshully...Dat looks like fun!  Let me in dere, blast ye!!  I wanna chukk one!"

Retchie Stinkfinga's Sticka Gang

To:  The Honorable Lars von Sauken, Margrave of SudMark

Excellency:  

New information has fallen into our hands re: the series of barn-burnings and livestock disappearances which have plagued the farmsteads of the southern SudMark over the last three weeks.  A lone Goblin was found wandering lost under the eves of the Tulgey Wood yesterday and was taken by our men.  Before it died, the miserable creature told us that it was a member of a raiding band led by an individual which goes by the name of Retchie Stinkfinger.  Stinkfinger is apparently a member of the Dead Raven clan, that rabble who claim descent from the tribes of Greenskins our people drove out of the River Country a generation ago, and who yet bear a special hatred for the Baron von Refn and all our Volk.  

 We had, of course, hoped that the Dead Ravens had been more or less exterminated at the second battle of Bone Hill, but clearly we hoped for too much.  The Dead Ravens have apparently spent the last few years rebuilding their numbers and finding new leaders, amoung them, obviously, this miscreant, Stinkfinger.

 Stinkfinger is clearly a raider of some prodigious talent, for he has thusfar managed to slip through our listening posts undetected, and make his way safely back across the Black River without being marked by us, but we are working hard to pinpoint the paths he uses, and sooner or later his luck will run out. 

We will get him yet.

Your Servant,
 Hanzell Schnurrbart, Captain, Sudmark Rangers

 So here are the compulsory 20 Gobbie Stickas needed to get Big Blackies horde street legal according to Warhammer Armies.

They don't add many points to the horde, and they aren't of much tactical value, other than as a Fanatic Delivery System, but I like them.  They've got character, I think.  Next:  Slanneshi Chaos Thugs!  (And FOW German Grenadiers)

"Oi, dat was a good job findin' dis secret cave fing dat goes unda da rivva, Boss!  Dem Rangas'll nevva figga out where we're commin' in from!  Hee hee hee!"

Grenadier Guards (Flames of War 600 pt force)

So there I was, broken in bed, studying the ceiling and trying not to feel overly sorry for myself.  My wife, sweet, thoughtful creature that she is, bought me a small stack of WW II books to read because she knows I like that kind of stuff.  And here my troubles began.  Over the next couple of weeks I picked up a few more new tomes, notably some volumes in the so far excellent Stackpole series, and rediscovered a few old loves, such as Guy Sajer's The Forgotten Soldier.  I was quickly getting into a rut.  You know how it is.

Once I could get up and around, I got out my Bridge Too Far and Battle of Britain DVDs.  I watched them over and over as I nudged a few minis glumly around on my desk, entirely unable to paint.  And then there was the internet.  The verdamnt internet.  Always sitting there in predatory silence.  Patient, watchful.  Wanting me to get on it and buy things.    And at last, with little else to do, get on it and buy things I did.  Tiny tanks and tiny men.  Too many of them.  You know how it is.

Anyway here are some of them.

A long time ago, I discovered something on the FOW site that got a big, fat iron  fishhook in my attention; these little 600 point starter forces.  I became fascinated by them and of course I had to have some of my own.  So now I've got late war British armor and American mechanized infantry, and German Grenadiers to fight them.  I'm starting out at 600 points with each army, and then I'm going to build up each army in 300 point blocks, until I get bored.

So here we go:  My British Armour Company, 600 pts:  (I'm using the FOW Armies book that comes with the new edition rules, not the high-speed Atlantik Wall and Overlord books; I'll acquire those eventually, but don't have 'em now.)

HQ Platoon:
2x Sherman V:  125 points

The CO and XO.  The extra tread should probably be green, but I sort of like how it looks painted as bare steel.  These are the plastics from the boxed Open Fire set, but purchased separately from bits merchants online.  Somehow, I got frames that all had the same commander figure.  I tried to get 1 tank with a distinctly different commander by buying one of the resin-and-metal Sherman Vs, but the commander figure that came with it was too short and skinny to look realistic next to the others.  Certainly, his smaller size would have poorly represented his Boss-Man stature.

Combat Platoons:

1st Platoon: 
2x Sherman V & 1x Firefly VC:  210 points

 I originally wanted my lads to be denizens of 11th Armoured Division for no other reason than that the 11th's division patch looks, frankly, badass...

Am right, no? 

But the decal pack I ordered seemed to be an older version that did not include the raging bull patch.  It did, however, have the somewhat disturbing all-seeing Eye of Sauron device of the Guards Armoured Division, so I was ok with that. 


2nd Platoon:
 2x Sherman V & 1x Firefly VC:  210 points

I would have preferred that my Guardsmen had been of the Irish regiment, (had images in head of Michael Caine as Joe Vandeleur, wearing that pained expression of quiet and dignified desperation as he tries to cram his regiment up the accursed single lane highway to Nijmegen) but no, the decals I had only supplied the '51' of the Grenadier Guards, and I was anxious to get started.  Grenadier Guards it would be.

 Giant hole in the back of the Firefly's turret that I didn't notice until just now. Grr.  Will have to go back and fill that in.

The decals look pretty good once you slop them up with 'mud' and when they don't catch the light in the wrong way.

So the compulsory units of my British armoured company were assembled.  I had a bare minimum HQ platoon, and 2 bare minimum combat platoons, and already it added up to 545 points out of 600 points.  What can you buy with 55 points in Flames of War?  Not much.  The one thing could do was to outfit all my tanks with AA Machine guns at 5 pts each. Good for fending off wandering Stukas, and, perhaps just as important, I think they look cool.  So that's 585 points.  Next:  German Grenadiers.  Right after I finish my Oldhammer Gobbo stickas.

 "Oh...Bluddy Hell.  Men, we've come the wrong way.  Turn around, objective's back that way.  Christ, are we ever going to get out of this bocage country?"

Flo's Field Kitchen (Orc and Goblin Baggage Train pt. 1)

 "Ya know wot?  I saw Sumfin da uvver day, and I couldn't believe wot I wuz seein'.  Wanna know wot it waz?  I'll tell ya.  Big fight out near da mountains, roight?  Crossed da big river, followin' Big Blackie's handsome backside...Wahhh, he's a looker, 'e is...anyway, got over da river wif only a few lads drowndin' and up frough da treesie countrie, into da hills, headin for da mountains, tall mountains where da funder gavvers on top.  Stunties, der.  Loads of 'em.  Wif gold!!  An' Humies, too.  Nasty little rotters, dem pinkies, dey stick togevver, you can count on dat.  

"An' me and da gurls, wot we doin', eh?  We got dis whole lot wantin' us ta feed em!  Now I got me a fine big iron pot, dat's fur sure, nobody east a da big rivver got better, but still, you got to feed a hunnerd lads, you're gonna have a ruff time of it!  We gotta boil up four, five pots a stew a noight!  An' where you gonna get da stuff for dat, eh?

"Huh.  Whereevver yoo can, eh?  Huh huh huh.  Now after a big foight, it ain't so bad!  Lotsa dead peeple and wot, you got no worries, da boys can eat all noight!  But when you're on da march yoo gotta get it where you can.  And here's where I'm gettin' to my point, see?  Dis is da fing I saw dat I couldn't believe...

"Big fight, roight?  Der's our boys and der boys laid out bleedin' all over the meadow and Big Blackie and dis one stuntie wiv a big helmit got bloody great horns on, de're still fightin out near da creek wif a few boys wit 'em, but everybody else is about done for da day, dey jus creepin' around pickin froo da dead boys lookin for sumfin good, and each side kinda keepin an eye on da uvver.  I'm grabbin' up everyfing I can fit in me pot for the big eats, an' crammin' everyfing I can't cook in de wagon, save it for later, ya know? And den I see the humies and da stunties are gavverin ders up too...ya know...da ones dat ain't quite dead yit?  And I see der puttin' rags on da holes our boys put in em!  And I fink, now why dey do dat?  Ya can't keep da blood in!  Spoils da meet!  Ya gotta led it out or it goes all larmy too fast!  Now dat's mighty strange!  

"And den I see 'em layin' all da ready-for-da-pot boys out on da grass, and der's some humie and stuntie girls comin, and I fink, Oh, dey'll  be comin' wiv da knives an' da pot!  But no!  Dey give dem pot boys tasty drinks an put pillers under der heads an' dat...and dey pet 'em on der hair and is all real sweet to 'em...disgustin' really!  And den dey load 'em in da cart and dey take em away...all comfertable like...like dey was gonna KEEP 'EM  ALIVE...and I fink...you know?  I bet dey don't even eat em!  Couldn't beleive wot I was seein, even doh it were roight here in frunna me own eyes...  Now...I ask ya...ain't dat just like a pinkie?  Too rich dey is...spoiled...got too much, dey don't 'ppreciate good meat when it falls in der laps!  

'Hand me dat knoife, will ye, Gertie?  "An quit squirmin', you gimpy lil Gobbo, you!  You'll dull me blade!  Wot's dat, ya say you can still walk? Well not fast enuff, I'll warrant!  Nod if we can ketch ya! Eh Gurls?"

(raucous laughter).

So here's my first section of my Oldhammer Orcs and Goblins baggage train, with the cauldron counting as the wagon. It adds um...zero points to Big Blackie's horde, but it was fun to do.

"OY!  Get yer fingas outta dere, it ain't ready, yet!  ...'Less ya wanna leave em in dere permanent...heh."

"Snots is good fer flaverin' up yer pot when ya ain't got nuffin else...De're really quick and slippery, tho...hard ta get yer hands on.  I just get 'em likkered up real good and dat makes em lot more easy ta catch..."

"Arright, boys...soup's on, get in line, already!  Er, by the way...anybody hurt?  Sick?  Wounded?  Hrm?  Anybody?"

Corporal Steiger's Squad

Jackbooted fascist thugs come to oppress the workers and farmers of Mother Russia?  Latter day Teutonic Knights determined to spread the gospel of National Socialism throughout the world?  Hm.  Probably more like nine alarmingly normal guys who just want to live long enough to get back to their home towns in Saxony, assuming those towns still exist.  No matter.  Corporal Steiger is determined to get as many of them home as possible.  That's the only thing he cares about...when, in certain rare moments, he finds that he is still capable of caring about anything.

In the blackness of a Courland forest night, the squad falls back to yet another defensive position.  Lars, Lothar and Fritz pull security as their comrades make a dash across a forest path.

Corporal Steiger highly recommends the rugged Soviet ppsh submachine gun for leading your squad through the thick Baltic forests.

 Along with Corporal Steiger, Heinrich here is one of the 'Old Gang' in the second platoon...which means he's survived over a year of combat on the Eastern front.  He's never quite recovered from the winter of '42, though, and always stays bundled up, even in the middle of summer.  Even in severe heat, he's always complaining that he just can't seem to get warm and stay that way...

The new guy.  Nobody has bothered to learn his name...they all know he won't last long.  I mean, look at him!  Doesn't even have his weapon at the ready.

The gun team.  The machine gun is the heart of the squad's combat power, and is affectionately known to the kameraden as 'Greedy Gretchin"  Hey, new guy, keep up, will ya?  Still got that extra ammo or have you fucking lost it already?"

With most of the squad safely across the track, Fritz prepares to make his own move.

  "Security set?  Ok...Quietly now, boys...and quickly...Go!"

Partisans!

Stealing through the seemingly endless forests and swamps of the Eastern lands, they come...infiltrating and fighting their way ever westward, in ever greater numbers...Partisans!  But who are they?  Heroic defenders of Stalin's Mother Russia, taken to the woods and fens to carry on the Communist dream and to fight the Fascistcapitalistimperialistreactionaryplutocrat invaders to their dying breaths?  Certainly that's the official Soviet version.  (See video below.)

Other people, many of them German, seem to have felt that the term Partisan was open to a degree of interpretation. Sometimes it meant civilians turned soldiers and actual Red Army troops trapped behind the lines and still fighting more or less in concert with the rest of the Soviet Army.  Sometimes it meant bunches of damned thieves and bandits who spent more time robbing and murdering their own people than they did fighting the Germans, the term Partisan existing solely to give their criminal depredations a veneer of respectability.  And there was a huge grey area between these two extremes into which most partisans seemed to fit best.

And to make it all even more annoying and confusing, lots of them weren't even Russian.  Many were Ukrainian, Lithuanian and Polish patriots to whom the Russians and Germans were all bastard foreigners and invaders who just needed to go away.  No matter.  The Germans shot at all of them, and all of them shot back at the Germans and, sometimes they shot at each other.  Chaos, randomness and woe.

 Peering at these Partisans as they stand at my desk top, I can't decide which side they belong to, but I suppose it doesn't really matter.  Whoever they are, I'm pretty sure they will be harassing the hell out of my Bolt Action Wehrmacht guys here in the near future.

Over the last few weeks, I've had quite a few painting disasters, including some AD&D Wereboars, some 15mm Wehrmacht Stug Gs and infantry, and some Warhammer Orc boys, all of whom have had to go in the strip jar as my stupid wrist has been so stiff, trembly and clumsy that I keep making mistakes and dropping things, but I think I've finally turned the corner on this broken arm thing, and I don't think these West Wind guys, painted mostly with Flames of War paints, came out too bad.  Eyes are still tough, though...just can't keep my hand still enough to get in there without leaving a huge blob of paint in the figure's eye socket.  (You might have noticed that most of these guys don't have eyes.) Oh, well.  At least I'm getting stuff done again.