Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Rogue Trader: Capn' Clownie Clown Clown and His Urban Degenerates

Memo:         The Clown Will Die
From:           Master of the Chapter
To:              Company Commanders
Type:           High Value Target Profile

Subject:         Captain Clownie Clown Clown
Name:           Unknown
Aliases:         Captain Clownie Clown Clown, or simply The Captain or The Clown
Whereabouts: Geminion Secundus
Professions:   Slave trader, smuggler, illicit arms dealer, pimp, gangster, thug, sexual anarchist,                              heretic, seditious pirate television show host.

Badly unwashed human male, about forty years of age, well over 6 feet tall, 250 pounds.  Typically intoxicated. In all sightings, wears a grotesque sexualized parody of a harlequin's costume.  Generally well armed and accompanied by strong bodyguard of fanatical followers

Appearances to the contrary, Captain CCC possesses an astonishing charisma and a deft manipulativeness and a profound grasp of human motivations.  Add to this an extraordinary ruthlessness and cunning, and a natural-born talent for extreme violence.  At a tender age embarked on a criminal career more successful than any in the last few centuries of the history of Geminion Secundus.  Eluded all attempts at capture by the Voldraddi  authorities for over twenty years.  Eventually established a lucrative and pervasive criminal empire which came to be quietly tolerated and even frequently patronized by influential members of the administration. Controls an army of thugs, enforcers and criminal militia numbering in the tens of thousands.

In recent sightings has carried a stub pistol and a power sword of exquisite workmanship with no obvious external power source.  Is rumored to have an Eldar Harlequin flip belt cunningly integrated into his leather harness.  Certainly there is no other likely explanation for his superhuman agility.  Known to sometimes wear Jokaero digital weapons.  Has a fondness for grenades, especially exotic types.

Heretofore The Chapter has maintained a neutral stance vis a vis The Clown and his activities, as it was believed that the existence of The Clown's Criminal Empire exercised a destabilizing influence on the Rebel regime's control of the planet of Geminion Secundus and would indirectly contribute to our ongoing campaign to topple the Rebels there. As is now well known, however, in a recent raid on enemy facilities in the slum city of Golgatha X, three squads of the third company came under direct attack from a horde of well armed gutter trash led by The Clown himself, and in the ensuing   firefight, two battle brothers of the Third Comapny were killed and others wounded. It is now known that The Clown and his servants believed our expedition to be an exercise in violation of their territory.
The very notion that the The Clown believes he owns territory should itself be offensive to all our Marines.  The Clown does not get territory.  Only the Emperor has territory, and  we are the sentinels of that Emperor.  The Clown has struck the sons of the Emperor.  The Clown will die.  Let him be beheaded with a dull chainsword.
                                                                                   -Ripp Von Venkle, Master of the Chapter
                                                                                    Dead Men Space Marines
The Clown.  The figure is, of course, Comfy Chair's Mr. Jingles, from their Spinespur range, I switched out his baseball bat and bottle of Jack Daniels for the weapons.  Don't get me wrong, I like the bat and bottle, but they aren't very 40k.

The clown and a favored companion.
I'm pretty pleased with how Clownie's girl came out...
I wish Clownie himself had come out as good.
Mutation is as sad and ever-present a problem in the Geminions as it is anywhere in the Imperium, as these poor, afflicted souls can attest.  Such outcasts number amoung The Clown's must ardent and ferocious followers.
Although most gangers are eventually well armed and equipped by their masters, all new recruits to Clownie's gang have to go through a probationary period where they are expected to supply their own weapons.  These two initiates have tried to exaggerate their barbaric appearance to look less like new meat, but their crude, home-made arms betray their junior status within the gang.  Nice Mark Copplestone Future Warriors.
A highly developed intellect is not a requirement for success as a ganger.  It could actually be an obstacle to success.  If so, this junior ganger may go far.
The equipment of these two figures hints that they may have come to Clownie's army from other careers.  The melta gunner wears some kind of pilot's cap, suggesting he may be or may have been one of the space pirates who frequently do business with The Clown.  The lasgun, uniform and equipment of the ganger on the right identify him as a deserter from the planetary militia, despite his modification of his regimental badge to show allegiance to his new master.
Typical group of gangers.  Note the barbaric appearance and rat skull on the belt of the ganger on the left, which suggest he is of the caste of the Rat Catchers.  Rat Catchers trap rats which they breed and sell as pets, fighting animals and livestock to other inhabitants of Geminion Secundus' many crumbling, post-urban hells.

Those who would borrow money from or trade favors with The Clown would be well advised to repay their patron punctually.  Clownie witnessed first hand the effectiveness of the Voldraddi army's use of human bombs, and was impressed by their spreading large numbers of his gutter soldiers like jam over wall and sidewalk.  He created a human bomb squad of his own out of dead beat debtors like the unhappy individual above.
"Awright, you dogs!  Time ta kick them Space Marines offa our turf!!!"


  1. Thatt clown is wonderfully disturbing! Great job all round Mr. Mouse.

    1. Thanks, Michael! Tried to make him as disgusting and repugnant as possible. Glad you enjoyed him.

  2. That was a good read. The Clown has a very disturbing effect but he plays the part of a remorseless killer quite well.

    1. I've got a lot of Clown back story simmering in my twisted imagination. Hopefully there will be time for me to compose a narrative about him after the big Orc vs. Chaos Bru ha ha I'm doing this fall.

  3. Great stuff and a corking, if not unnerving, idea for a gang-leader :-) I especially like the consistent paint-job across the entire motley crew as that really brings them together. Mr Jingles has never looked better... or scarier!!!

    1. Thanks, Blaxcleric! Nice to hear from you again!

  4. Freaky and wonderful sideshow gang, Mouse! Clownie's girl is my favourite Necromunda miniature and one that has seen a lot of action. Nice to see that she has found a new group to hang out with!

    1. Glad you like 'em! Planning on painting lots more gangers and putting them up against my Marines in the future.