Friday, April 3, 2026

Rogue Trader: The Floating Fat Man

                                       
The Little Emperor.  The Floating Fat Man.  By such names is he known,  Long ago, in another life, he was Ilyach Ternn, a waif and a weakling in the gutters of some hell hole on Geminion Secundus.  But his diminutive frame and sad, watery eyes masked a brilliant mind and a ravenous, all consuming appetite for power and pleasures of every conceivable  kind.
Slowly, at first by dint of his astonishing technological acumen, then through the machinations of a cold and calculating cunning, Ilyach rose through the ranks of the gang lords of the Geminions, ultimately rivaling in power and influence even regional governers and military commanders, with the underworlds of entire continents bending before his will, and legions of slum dogs marching at his orders.
But a long life of indulgence has taken it's toll!
Though the apparatus his calls his 'brazen throne', in mockery of the Golden Throne of the Emperor of Mankind yet holds his life within his body, that body is increasingly wracked.by the rot and ruin of a thousand ailments aquired during an artificially extended life span spent saturated in carnal and narchotic indulgence.  Only this machine of his own design now keeps the spark of his wicked consciousness burning within his polluted and decaying  frame.  Yet his power is undiminished, for his wealth and influence are tremendous, his criminal agents and shanty town militia number in the millions, and the keen fire of his mighty mind is yet undimmed.
Just as he designed the brazen throne to preserve his life, Ilach created his own android servants to act as his most trusted and beloved bodyguards, pets and playthings.  Machines with an appearace so life like as to be all but indistinguishable from living creatures.
Careful observation of these warrior women android guards reveal the seams where Ilyach stretched and stitched their skins together over their steel and plastic frames.  Early experiments, these.  Less comely than more recent ones, perhaps, but still alert, loyal and deadly.

 

Iltach's innumerable ailments demand almost constant attention, and so he created a bevy of delectable android nurses to attend to his many needs.  The deep knowledge of drugs and human anatomy posessed by these drones makes them useful as interrogators as well.
 
Here are two of Ilyach's more recent creations and some of those of which he is most proud:  Hop-Toad and Clareeze.

Hop Toad is deliberately designed to appear unthreatening and absurd, but he is fitted with a wide array of video and audio equipment which allow him to record and analyze sights and sounds over great distances.  Even the most subtle details of facial expression, body language and tone of voice do not go unnoticed by his sensitive equipment, unanalyzed by his keen electronic brain, or unreported to his scheming master, and he invariably attends upon his creator at every council and conference, scrutinizing the attendees with his large, cold, artificial eyes.
Clareeze is Ilyach's prettiest and most beloved pet.  (For now, anyway.) Ravishingly beautiful and indistinguishable from an authentic human female, she accompanies her creator everywhere.
Out on the town in downtown Skummburg...
OY, ME LOVELIES!  Let's stop in for  drink at Jezzie's, EH?


 

Monday, January 12, 2026

Buzzgobb Phesterlick, Chaos Knight of Slaanesh



Buzzgobb Phesterlick, the dread knight of Slaanesh, leads a troop of his Minotaurs across the Black River, through the Tulgey Wood and into the fringes of the Baron Von Refn's realm, seeking for slaughter and captives to bring back to Buzzgobb's evil city of Lost Veguzz.

In the ruins of that ancient and once beautiful town, now a broken shell on the breast of the eastern desert, twisted shapes writhe and cavort amid leaping flames and swinging cages full of screaming prisoners.

Chuckling, giggling, gurgling things slouch and shuffle from shadow to shadow, feasting on broken bodies and sometimes on each other.
Out from the unholy city, out from amoung the broken walls, the leaping fires, the heaps of corpses and the piles of  malformed bodies entangled in the ecstacy of blasphemous, orgiastic rites, rides Buzzgobb, Knight of Slaanesh...


...astride his shrieking, gibbering steed...
...under the blazing banner of his unfathomably filthy and evil God...to rape, raid and plunder amoung the green pastures west of the river.  
    His bellowing minions lumber after him, eager to bath their blades and muzzles in blood...The Baron Von Refn has sworn to slay Buzzgobb and to hang his head above the gate of the Refnsburg.  The Orc Warlord Big Blackey has sworn to slay Buzzgobb and hang his head from his chariot.  The Dwarven Lords of Thunder Mount have sworn to slay Buzzgobb and use his head as a cannon ball.   None of them seem to have had much luck in these endeavors yet.


                                                                Buzzgobb Rides!!!